November 13, 2007
A Day At The Pharmacy
Standing in the pharmacy rigidly for say, 10 hours can really cause you your brain. It's partially liken to selling your soul to the devil and doing time at the same time. But today. TODAY is slightly out of the ordinary. A stranger got transferred from this pharmacy elsewhere and boy is she entertaining! She is sporting enough to actually open up about her life, her family, and also ahem, her profundity beyond all. Picture this: 4 middle age women, around 30s to 40s, all have been in the sales marketing business since forever, tattooed eyebrows and dyed hair, individually speaking in their own comfort language, yet trying very hard to make communication able 'cause.....3 speaks Cantonese; one's fine, one can't grasp Bahasa, the other can't speak English. The last one out of the 4 only does no Cantonese or anywhere near it. So all 4 were sharing stories and once in a while pops the question of "What did she say?"......actually more like, "Ha?" I could understand all 3 languages they used, so I was just standing there participating only not verbally. All I did was just throwing in some simple gesture of a smile, laughter or a nod. Oh. Let's not forget the looks of shock and disgust. *sticks tongue out*So what I've heard? Woohoo. Plenty!
Lesson 1:
Do not pick the wrong husband.
Apparently all of them had some hubby problem; flirting and sleeping with other women, drinking, couldn't care less about the children, squandering their hard earned money on sluts and whores (direct quoted from them! but jokes aside, RM 75 000 within a month!!!).........horny-ness. *ahem* Some of the things they were talking about....."Dia malam saja ah, mau la. Kasi saja lor. Apa buat. Saya tidur atas katil macam ikan mati ah orang cina cakap."
"Saya sudah datang itu menapos ah, sudah manyak kering la. Dia kata apa tau. Aiya. Lu jangan risau la. Gua kasi buat lu manyak sup. Manyak jahat oh. Cakap gua sudah kering ah, kasi buat sup oh."
"Yalah yalah. Saya tarak kisah pinya. Saya kasi cakap, satu bulan satu kali cukup. Tarak manyak manyak. Sudah kasi 3 anak tarak cukup. Dia pun tarak kasi anak makan. Saya kerja kerja ah, balik lagi dia mau. Pigi mampus dia."
Lesson 2:
Do not have intercourse with your spouse when you are having your menstrual.
Back to the last item in lesson 1. Yeeeeeeeeeeeappppp. One of them had this problem. Well, simply put, he wanted it ALL the time. One day she says she told him she's having her menstrual. He asked for the other erm, 'entrance'. She said noOoooOoo. So, guess what? He went elsewhere seekin' for self-gratification. But the real deal was that, having sexual intercourse during that time of the month can apparently 'cause infections and (insert disgusting stuff). The women's body excrete these unwanted wastes from the body to, well, remove them from the body. Nothing so-very-complicated about that. So, let nature be! Horny men. Can't be saved.
Lesson 3:
In case of a husband emergency, dump the man, save the children!
Never ever ever ever ever trust men. According to them, men are nincompoops, wantons, or in Rachel language: dungus! So this is what they told me. Do not trust men, as mentioned earlier. They told me to be sure of having my own personal savings and a separate, hidden bank account so that in any case, you still have yourself to rely on. Hmmm. Oh yeah. Children. Kick the husband, grab the children and fleeeeeeeeeeeee.That's about what I can remember. *chuckles*Oh yah. Some events I often see or hear on tele or movies, friends but have yet to witness, actually happened. An adolescent came to the pharmacy, circulating around for quite some time, frantically yet reluctantly looking for something and finally, asking for some pill to so-called 'regulate her menstrual cycle again'. Honestly to me, I really thought she came to only want some Primrose or such, but according to the experienced aunties, and I quote, "This one ah, suuuure pregnant." I didn't believe it. And both of them commented that I was still young, haven't seen the rest of the world, yadda yadda yadda. And one of the 2 added, "Betul la. You tak tau. Kita tengok saja ah, sudah boleh tau la. Ini sudah kena cucuk punya. Biasalah budak-budak sekarang. Kicik-kicik sudah cucuk cucuk. Depan belakang semua cucuk."
Hmmm. The highlight of the day. 3 African girls approached the vitamin counter. All 3 asked for some birth control pills or something similar to what the previous girl has requested; some pill for menstrual. So this auntie thought it would be fun playing along. She dragged them to condom counter and say, "You take this ah, no need to worry about pills la!" The girls were laughing away, flipping the condom front and back. The auntie then took the pink coloured one and said, "This one ah, you use very nice ohhh." It has 'Vibratine' written on it. I felt a bit uncomfortable (though curious) so I walked away. After entertaining them, the auntie came over and said, "Dia amik itu cili padi punya. Saya dalam hati kata gila apa ini orang. Itu ada customer kata itu manyak panas oh. Tarak best. Saya cepat cepat kasi tau dia la. Nanti mati saya kena oh." And she was laughing away.
Oh. They ended up buying the Vibratine.
Amusssssing.
Labels: life, love, marriage
11:01:00 PM
May 15, 2007
we be pwocwastinators like terminatowrs
From the general view, it is thought that procrastinating is easy-peasey, it really isn't. In fact it's as hard as....heck, working hard!
People of procrastination shouts "hail the eleventh hour!" Yup. We 'worship' "the very last minute of anything" to be the epitome of our eccentric being. (Yes, we are unusual. but the population is growing so big in such short period of time that we will all soon be entitled normal) Our very essence is built up by the strong elements of laziness, able to only work under pressure, easily distracted, negligent and many more soon to be found.
Since uni started, I have been nothing but a true, real procrastinating bum, just like all the other 300 000 students here (.....which I am guessing, is 90% of this uni's population. No?). The thing is...the true danger that many fail to notice is that....just the mere sight of these 'last minute souls' can cause you to contract their procrasti-conjunctivitis and hence, without power of control or realisation, like a normal human being transforming into a werewolf at the very glimpse of moonlight, you...my friend, (ding ding ding!) has just become one of THEM.
(Look at one, you still have the chance to be cured, talk to one, you are doomed for life)
Yup. You have sold your soul to the big P. Now there is no way of redeeming it back, not unless you perform deeds such as those of the systematic..and consistent beings. (Nooooooooo!) Only then you will be set freeeeeeeee and be bodily able to combat such....disease.
(If not....hmm.......)
Oooo ooo! How about....we set up...a campaign! 'Kempen TAK NAK PROCRASTINATE' (English translation: Say no to procrastination!) *Ngyyehhhh* But then again, we are, after all, the sinners. How is it logical that sinners make up campaigns to go against their own sin. Like smokers saying no to smoking. Nahh. We prolly would procrastinate the project itself in the end.
Maybe.....we should establish a monthly or weekly therapy session, with professional help from a a a...priest or...a psychologist. You know, like those emo programs which you attend if you are an alcoholic or drug addict or heavy smoker. Huh? What is that you say? Of course we need it! Heck, procrastinating is a lethal threat too ya know! To self AND to others. Though it starts with a simple burning the midnight oil to the morning sun habits, for all you know, one day we might be so numb with datelines, we just stop functioning. When we see a woman drowning, we might just procrastinate till she dies and THEN get her body out for the family to grieve upon.
*shudder*
Alright alright. If that doesn't work, how about directing our own movie. A movie with a moral-lesson end to it. Horror, yet comedic and a little bit of action packed. Have yet to get my inspiration, but if we agree on this, you will soon catch me sitting under a tree waiting for it. I was thinking......"Kill Procrastination", a tribute to Quentin Tarantino since Kill Bill was such a genius creation. No? *Ngyeehhh*
*Yawn*
But hey. Maybe we need not worry too much. I heard my neighbour auntie muttering something along the lines of...
"....Ploclastinator make guud leader..."
Don't know how far that's true but oh well.
*yawn*
*Ngyyehhh* Thanks to this sickness, I haven't had my sleep due to a bloody assignment. <---- See. A procrastinator blames the whole world, subtly (or maybe not) through their speech. Well, I am honest enough to admit. So yeah. ANYHOOO....Must need....sleep......Procrastinator #256789 out.
Labels: life, procrastinate, procrastinating, procrastinator
3:34:00 PM
