my cousin has the KIUUUUTEST, LOVING mom ever! my dearest aunt jessy.
you can see her silly, gooney, motherly look on her face. she is really a fun WOMAN. haha. let me share some incidents which might draw you a slightly better mental picture of what she is like.
i remember there was once, when i was about 12 (cousin's one year younger than me)...no- let me tell you a little background of the tan family. see, we are this HUGE family, with perhaps 30 to 40 over cousins? and we have gatherings at various uncles and aunties houses each saturday. so, at that time....you know, when you were younger, you tend to get all excited to see your cousins and in my case, Sheng (this cousin with this mom) is one of them. long grandmother story short....
so back to the day when i was 12, me and my cousin would talk and talk and talk, chit chatting like there's no tomorrow. so, in the middle of one of our sessions, all of the sudden my cousin needed a sheet of tissue paper. and it was about, 2 feet away from us lazy bums. so she, as usual, being the "ah bi" in the family (ah bi means...dumb and stupid. haha. just kidding. it's just short of baby, chinesefied), asked her mom to bring it to her. (yeah. spoilt little bum). see, her mom is SUPER BLUR k. but i was suprised at the limits of blurness she can get sometimes. haha. so when she asked the first time, "mom, can you pass me the tissue box?", her mom (also chatting away) just continued chatting, looked over and nodded and said "ah". second time she asked, same thing happened. she nodded, glanced over and continue chatting and out of nowhere an "ah". so sheng got a little annoyed, and at the same time so lazy, she decided to test her mom..."mom, i'm going to take drugs". mom: looked over, nodded, "ah".
my aunt takes my dear cousin out to the movies quite often. as well as falling asleep in the cinema. my cousin used to complaint to me about this alot when we were younger. haha. now she just goes, "my mom fell half asleep" in the calmest voice. haha. i find it hillarious. a really kiuut loving mother.
aunt jessy used to always buy stuff for me. the thing i remember the MOST is the set of long story books with lotsa lotsa short stories inside. she went on a business trip to malacca and she thought of ME, out of the many many cousins we have. such a blessing.
the other blessing would really be, my numb nut cousin. she is going to kill me for putting this on, but ohhh what the heck. hahahha.
presenting.......queen LATIFAH! haha. i joke. i joke. SHENG!!!!!!
you can actually see the resemblance. her mom and her. haha. both kiutness.
11:59:00 AM
ah mmmmmmmmmm
so i was browsing through friendster. one profile leads to another. i stopped at this particular profile. a profile of a stranger. a female if you must know. i was very disturbed by it. and i wondered how an established web page like this could allow full...frontal...nudity.
yeap. you heard me.
i just stopped and pondered a moment. alright, no doubt i have friends who feel comfortable being a little less clothed than the usual, you know, skimpy. and have no problem with being a little more pronounce once in a while for attention to feel good. perfectly normal. though......am not too sure it is at peoples' best interest or even comfort to witness nudity in a legal, controlled (or so i thought) website. well....*looks up and down* to a certain degree of people that is. *clears throat* as quoted from my dear friend,"99% of the guys are perverts. the other 1% are liars." noottt so much on the liar part...focus on the erm, other bit. tee-heee.
it is a little incomprehensible at times, as to why the world has become so hay-wire. don't be mistaken. i do not, by any means, trying to go against the flow or change the way things already are at present. i just like to drown myself in deep thoughts about this and that. and since the existence of blogs came about, i decided to draw it out.
anywayyyyy......
back to the world being hay-wire and all. a conversation with my dear old friend through the msn triggered something. she claims my display pic to be rather, and i quote, "ah lian". and she gave a silly comment about the way i looked in the photo. being a wee-bit annoyed, i glance over to HER display pic. i hmmph-ed and well, bits of the shorten conversation went like this :
everybody loves rachel *eggloogloo.blogspot.com* says: SMALL SCHOOL GIRL? Juliana. says: hahahha fucker la u..damn babi Juliana. says: yeah Juliana. says: SMALL SCHOOL GIRL everybody loves rachel *eggloogloo.blogspot.com* says: preppy Juliana. says: like...damn ah lien Juliana. says: HAHAHHAHHAHAHA everybody loves rachel *eggloogloo.blogspot.com* says: hmmm, well. i AM chinese everybody loves rachel *eggloogloo.blogspot.com* says: im not suprise if i give out some of the vibes Juliana. says: u dont have to be ah lien just cos ur chinese! everybody loves rachel *eggloogloo.blogspot.com* says: have the tendency to everybody loves rachel *eggloogloo.blogspot.com* says: erm Juliana. says: hahahhahah Juliana. says: sicko everybody loves rachel *eggloogloo.blogspot.com* says: i am NOT everybody loves rachel *eggloogloo.blogspot.com* says: you claim so everybody loves rachel *eggloogloo.blogspot.com* says: so, i cant do nything but to accept with an open heart and mind (^^,) Juliana. says: hahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhaahhahhahahaha Juliana. says: u turned into some zen kinda person edi issit now??? everybody loves rachel *eggloogloo.blogspot.com* says: well, at least im taking conventional pictures, where my face is in place of focus everybody loves rachel *eggloogloo.blogspot.com* says: dont know what the world came to that people start taking photos of cameras covering half their faces Juliana. says: hahahha fucker wats tat suppoes to mean everybody loves rachel *eggloogloo.blogspot.com* says: *blink blink* Juliana. says: hahhaha fuck u lah Juliana. says: it s just the same as how ppl use their hair to cover half their faces! everybody loves rachel *eggloogloo.blogspot.com* says: hmmm everybody loves rachel *eggloogloo.blogspot.com* says: not ENTIRELY true everybody loves rachel *eggloogloo.blogspot.com* says: hair IS part of the body everybody loves rachel *eggloogloo.blogspot.com* says: camera....last time i check, dont think so everybody loves rachel *eggloogloo.blogspot.com* says: unless they start implanting cameras everybody loves rachel *eggloogloo.blogspot.com* says: coz.......its.........kul everybody loves rachel *eggloogloo.blogspot.com* says: the world is SO gone, i have lost track Juliana. says: hahahha shaddup la u Juliana. says: i need to go pee
nonsense.
well, i shan't be so narrow minded. there is a certain degree of excellence in photography and a certain mystery to it. different angles and different objects projects a certain different liveliness and exoticness to the picture altogether (although i pretty much doubt there's any photographers blood running through the arteries of this little butch i've known for 4 years)
arggghh. so much to say, but so lazy to continue.
this was the picture she was referring to as "ah lian" by the way :
1:35:00 AM
November 23, 2006
LOVE IS JUST A BIG DERIVATION OF THE WORD LIE
5:05:00 PM
negativity calls
i wonder if you have heard of this fabulous movie, Girl Interrupted. personally i enjoy movies with at least a slight deliver of a particular meaning or drawn in a clever picture. this movie most certainly have moved me. it features this group of girls, battling their inner self, deprived of love and living in denial, like many of us. but because they choose to express it in a more prominent way, they are being call "out of the norm" by society.
they are placed in this dungeon, four white walls and are forced to recover physically, very much in doubt mentally. it is due to the fact that their loved ones decided to just give up and throw their care to some strangers who barely understand what they are going through. "professional help" they call it.
"love conquers all" - Virgil, Roman epic poet.
humans are selfish creatures. in most cases, textbooks rarely can tell you all you need to know to deal with peoples true feelings. it is only mere assumptions made by a group of thinkers slowly drawing large sums of money each year by providing their opinion or a general fact to students. people tend to leave you and let you learn from strangers rather than letting love help the healing process. lazy lazy.
one thing is....humans feed on misery. they leave you at your weakest downfall and pity you when you die. when they could have done something, they would rather stand and see in a third person's view rather than participate. they fold their arms and start talking, judging. they would give you their condolence, but never their care.
sometimes i look at the world and i question myself. why are we always conscious about the wrong things? we worry about not being able to purchase the best shoes while some, on the other side of the fence can't even afford a pair. this is no rocket science. everyone knows it for a fact but no one does anything.
3:51:00 PM
November 22, 2006
misconception
People think I'm strong, But I get tired and I get weak. People think that I'm outgoing, But inside I'm grounded and meak.
People think I'm always happy, But to myself I know im not. People think that I don't cry, When most of the time my eyes are shot.
People think that I am confident, But when I look in a mirror I hate what I see. People assume that I am stable, But alot of people dont really know me.
People always love me, But I never love them too. People think they know me, But they never do.
4:19:00 PM
on the negative side
i need a friend......
no one actually understands anyone and everyone fakes everything. and just because i can't bring myself to do that, i don't have any friends.
what are friends?
as quoted from my msn personal message, "friends are pretentious lil blood-sucking leeches". how far this isn't true? who can really prove me wrong?
pardon my drenching in self-pity.
i.....have no friends. it's true. i always go all out for the wrong people. i am not allowed to express my emotions to my so-called friends. if i'm upset just one day, i am called moody. only now i realised that i am expected to put on a happy mask each and everyday and like most politicians, play the conventional role. socially accepted expression, behaviour.
can a person REALLY accept you for the way you are? honestly, i don't believe in that. people will always try to change you. and being the hypocrites they are, they will say, "don't worry. i'll love you for who you are". if they wake up one fine morning and realise that they can't do any further to change you, they leave you.
can everyone really trust their soul mate, confidant, spouse? one thing i realised about people. the only person that you can trust, is only yourself. no matter how close or how attached you are to another person, you will only find yourself getting hurt one day.
i hate my f******.
12:03:00 AM
November 19, 2006
must.....need......rest.....
my body aches as though i was crushed by a huge pile of big fat rocks.
i recently found a new passion of mine. well, in order for YOU to find out what it is, lets play a little game of charade.
first word 1. an angry dog goes.........................(it's a sound) 2. abbreviation for organistation
second word 1. fill in blank "semasa saya sedang berjalan (blank) pasar, saya nampak Ali" 2. a green round thing you slice and feed to someone drunk to help them get sober 3. chandler's (from friends, the series) last name
so so? did you get it?
yes yes. smart smart. rock climbing! (for those who didn't get it. tsk tsk)
well, yeah. it's a really good sport and form of motivation. i realized that i kept wanting to go on till i achieve my goals for the day. see, rock climbing doesn't really come as cheap and you tend to utilize every second you have in there.
it isn't easy to begin with. it requires a lot of strength, mentally especially, physical endurance, stamina, will power and even guts (i can't jump down from 10-15 feet above all the way down to the mattress.*sob*.i just can't do it...).
but the beauty of rock climbing, is that, if you don't have all the mentioned above, it actually helps you to find it within you. that is what i noticed rock climbing did to me.
well, yeah. i accomplished 2 goals today and the price to pay? i can't even grip on something properly. muscles ache like crazy...
2 people inspired me. i saw this really fit girl doing some chin-ups on those specialised rocks. wow. i really admire her. she did it as though she doesn't feel anything. and this guy, francis, apparently malaysia's best rock climber, met him at Delta and my gosh. he has really prominent 6 packs on his abs. like carved and dented. and not to mention his arms. it's all pure muscle! for God's sake, he even has muscle...on...his middle finger!! MUSCLE i say, muscle! he can't straighten his finger. and you wanna know the secret of it? he doesn't pay visits to the gym...nope, he doesn't. the secret is....rock climbing. but he actually sacrificed his effort and time for 12 years to get that. 12 years of intensive climbing. 5 times a week. amazing isn't it...
my advise...try out this sport.
10:33:00 PM
November 18, 2006
this just popped up my head all of the sudden *blink blink*
i realized that i...have a fetish for smart guys.
the kind of guy who speaks his mind. guys usually have not much to converse with a girl. it's only common sense. we are both different gender. hence the gap between both interests, circle of friends and words are always 'filtered' before being muttered. guys can't speak footie or maybe for some, porn, to their date. well, same goes for girls. they can't just start cow-branding other girls. that is why most of the time, silence is the only option. most terrified and feared for in a date.
i like guys who....actually uses his brain. a guy who just knows his stuff and coming from his derivation of all those informative collective sources. a guy who has his clogs in the head running. i think what would impress me the most is that, he can share his views towards things. means he actually uses that big b.
guys who aren't superficially attractive physically attracts me. well, this is unexplainable. it might be that i myself am a little physically challenged, not to mention that low self esteem. OR it's just rocket science. at times i couldn't understand my own perception towards things. so i don't really know why.
a man with principles is a man who will succeed in life, marriage or working life. don't mistakenly think this is equivalent to the term stubborn. no no. this is more like, doing the right thing, logically, with common sense. for instance, in a marriage, studies actually show that man who doesn't lay eyes on another woman has lower chances of cheating on their spouses. after all, seduction starts with just an eye contact. in physics, there is this term called 'action at a distance'.
2:03:00 AM
November 17, 2006
very sad ah......
8:21:00 PM
MY FAVE CARS. minus the performance info.
the one who speaks
rachel
bits and crumbs
Once upon a time there was a cow. Yes. A cow. And this cow had a friend. Friend was a sheep. See, both of them were green. In that place they lived in, all things were made green. The mushrooms, the potato land, the trees, the mosquitoes. And suddenly came down a star, CRASHING down to their planet, and ALL things became kalerful! And that star was ME. Rachelli. Ngyahahaha. *Scwoll down pwease*